Dead Zones - Do you have them?

[Jim Palmer]

We've all heard of cell phone "dead zones." Sometimes I enter a personal dead zone. Here's how it works...

I'm going about my day, doing the next thing, perhaps even walking in the present reality of God's kingdom and mindful of the fullness of life and spiritual abundance within me...and then suddenly the "dead zone"...a surge of despair and emptiness and aloneness and despondency sweeps over me.

Sometimes it's a weariness like the feeling that I'm pretty much done with life and living and ready to move on to something different. Sometimes it feels like I'm observing the world in motion and every shred of it seems like total insanity. Sometimes it feels like I just want to unplug from it all, get off the merry-go-round and fade into the woodwork never to be heard from again - like move to New Zealand and become a sheep herder or something. That's a few of my dead zones anyway.

I kinda felt like maybe I should add all this other stuff to prevent you from thinking I'm going off the deep end or give this long God-explanation of the spiritual answer for dead zones and how I pull out of them and the better for it...blah...blah...blah...yadi...yadi...yadi...

But then I realized all I was wondering is, if anyone else experiences this and has their own dead zone moments.

[Paula]

My dead zones so far consist of the old feelings coming over me again, like before I discovered that God really does love me and that I don't have to carry all the weight of the negative and the bad stuff on me, when I would have that nagging feeling that something was wrong and I had to search my mind to figure out what it was. So far I've been quick to recognize it and shake it off, but it does happen.

[Katie M Samuels]

I absolutely hear what your saying! i have these moments more frequently than i like to admit. i don't know what the spiritual answer is but when a "dead zone" comes i just try ride it out and remind myself that God has this all under control and His plan is working its way to completion. cause sometimes i just get so weary of this life, the refiners fire gets too hot and this transformation process is too exhausting. sometimes i feel like saying "I'm done, had enough, time to move onto whatever is next" especially when i am feeling like you described so well - "despair and emptiness and aloneness and despondency" - from living in this world that just seems too crazy for me at times, from feeling all alone in this journey and process (unable to share it with those close to me - they would think i am crazy) and from watching the people around me suffer and go through life without Love and Hope. so even though i feel i am constantly living in an awareness of the Kingdom of God, i still experience moments like these and i probably always will until i can finally shed this current tent of flesh i dwell in and be perfectly free. yours might not be exactly the same as mine but its nice to know others have these moment too :) thanks for putting it out there :)

[Dyton L. Owen]

Absolutely, Jim! My dead zone often manifests as a kind of apathy...don't care about much of anything. And when it hits, I usually "hunker in the bunker" and ride it out, often reading to try and re-focus. I have found it is often brought on by stress/overwork/worries, etc....especially financial worries brought on by unexpected legal stuff my wife has been dragged into for her kids' sake. But God's grace is sufficient.

When these dead zones hit, I have to remind myself of two "mantras": Coach Lou Holtz: "I know God doesn't give me more than I can bear; but sometimes I think God over-estimates my ability!"

And something I learned while growing up in an African-American church: "God may not come when you call, but He's always on time!"

[Bryan Bliss]

All. The. Time.

Somebody like Kierkegaard would say that our 'freedom' leaves us in a constant fear of failing our responsibilities to God.

I don't think that's my problem, personally...but, perhaps. I mean, who am I to argue with Soren Kierkegaard, right? ;)

I do get that feeling, though. It's like all of a sudden - BAM! - I'm hit with this feeling of total and abject 'I-don't-give-a-damn-itis.'

I'm told that's a scientific term.

I've often said that I really just want to buy a camper van, pull my kids out of school and just become a hermit or something. My wife isn't keen on it, though.

Just a small observation: the entire area around my church is a cell phone 'dead zone' - I always kinda laugh at that....

[Dennis Swint]

Yes I get the dead zones from time to time. It feels like my whole world is coming down on me to the point that I am starting to feel overwhelmed. I cannot say for sure what causes them, but the scary part is that sometimes when they come, I have a desire to be there. There are times that the depression comes and I start thinking about ditching everything and starting over and I will start thinking about what my life would be like if I did that. I have never followed through on any of that, but I wonder if anyone else has done that.

[Amy Fouse]

I was feeling this way tonight actually. As I was heading home from a long night waiting tables (never thought I would be doing that a year and 1/2 ago), I realized that I had kind of disconnected from it all tonight. I was just doing the next thing I had to get done. I felt worn out (more than just physically). I felt almost as if I were in slow motion. I am glad to know that others feel this way. I guess I always thought I felt this way just because I didn't have it (life or a relationship with Jesus or something) all figured out right. Guess that whole thinking process (there must be something wrong with me) is part of the alone feeling. I sometimes think about moving to Africa and just loving kids there but I think the feeling would follow. I think I would still have moments like these. I have also often thought and even said to my husband that I am ready to "move on to something different." I kind of thought that once I learned the lessons God had for me for this time of my life He would move me on to something different. I used to try to figure out what I needed to be learning so that I could move forward. Recently I think I accept (at least at times) that life may not have any great big plans for me and that I may be here doing this a long time. I still get those feelings of "being in the dead zone" but I no longer think that what I am doing is making those happen. Are they just part of life? Does everyone feel that way? Are those longings for the way "life was meant to be"? Just thinking...

[vicki]

thanks for your vulnerability in sharing this Jim. I sometimes , for whatever reason , find this "coming on" waking up from a nap;... an unexplainable anxiety - like a feeling of impending doom..... i recognize that i might actually have an anxiety "disorder",but I also consider that some of this might be within the realm of normal feelings too.... it's usually not tied to circumstances....it is triggered if I feel that I'm fighting the life battle alone and don't feel strong enough to manage it....at times like this i try to breath into it, hang on and wait for the wave to pass

[Old Pete]

I'm sure we all get these "dead zones" when we feel weary with the trials of life.

It is nearly 20 years since I had the challenges of a full time job and it's over 10 years since I recognised a freedom and liberation from the slavery of legalism, so my perspective will perhaps be somewhat different.

Most of my frustration now comes from watching my own children and grandchildren suffering as a result of living in a world that just doesn't know where it's going (none of the family seem to have any faith).

But at the same time I am in the privileged position of being able to enjoy the natural world around us - the wonders of Creation that have not been spoilt by the ravages of men.

It can be difficult to reconcile those two views - but I am frequently reminded that in Isa 53 Jesus is described as a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

We are in this world for a purpose - if we are going to learn some of the lessons we surely need to be reminded of Father's view of the world as it now is, as well as what life will be like in the future.

Food for thought?

[Dave Aldrich]

YES... at least once a day I have those times... whether it's a day of emotional highs or lows. Even on the high days I'd look back at the end of the day and wonder what the heck I'm doing, if I'm on the "right" track, or should I be pursuing something else. In my mind I embrace the freedom of Christ, this being our reality. But I too often find my heart struggling with where I am and what I'm doing, second-guessing myself. Maybe that's a good thing... not to trust ourselves but always leaning unto Him.

Thanks for the question and honest thoughts.

[Debbie]

My faith is practiced in the PRESENT and I seek to experience God as I AM, living in the current moment and recognizing that the past and future are both beyond my grasp. Most of the time I find great joy & peace there, however, I recently lost a family member and I found I didn't want to BE in the PRESENT, because there I found pain and grief. I guess you could say the present became my dead zone. Yoga teaches that such pain and grief are an illusion, i.e. temporary and fleeting, and that we must search deep inside for what is eternal and lasting. I had to search deep inside for the Jesus that I knew was there. I had to once again take ahold of the joy, peace and love that He had placed within me and always resides there. Perhaps the biggest thing about dead zones is that we must acknowledge they will pass, they are not "real," we must not judge ourselves because of our dead zones, and we must allow them to nudge us back to Jesus, the "only true reality".

Now you may be thinking, "Whoa, this lady is waaaay out there. What is she talking about anyway? And what's up with YOGA?" I have been practicing yoga for ten years and God has used it--along with a lifelong association with organized religion (yuck)--to transform my life and my thinking. In a nutshell: I am SO glad to be a NOBODY!! Thanks, Jim!

[Jim Palmer]

Hi Debbie, thanks for your comment. It was helpful to be reminded that our spiritual abundance is always present within us in the moment where the true Jesus dwells. I have lots of friends who find Yoga to be a wonderful spiritual avenue for embracing the real and letting go of the illusion. Thanks! Jim

Debbie said:

My faith is practiced in the PRESENT and I seek to experience God as I AM, living in the current moment and recognizing that the past and future are both beyond my grasp. Most of the time I find great joy & peace there, however, I recently lost a family member and I found I didn't want to BE in the PRESENT, because there I found pain & grief I guess you could say the present became my dead zone. Yoga teaches that such pain & grief are an illusion, i.e. temporary and fleeting, and that we must search deep inside for what is eternal and lasting. I had to search deep inside for the Jesus that I knew was there. I had to once again take ahold of the joy, peace & love that He has placed within me and always resides there. Perhaps the biggest thing about dead zones is that we must acknowledge they will pass, they are not "real" and we must take ahold of Jesus, the only true reality who resides within.

Now you may be thinking, "Whoa, this lady is waaaay out there. What is she talking about anyway? And what's up with YOGA?" I have been practicing yoga for ten years and God has used it--along with a lifelong association with organized religion (yuck)--to transform my life and my thinking. In a nutshell: I am SO glad to be a NOBODY!! Thanks, Jim!

[Dianne]

wow, just reading this, im not sure if we are all have extreame anxiety dissorders or what, because i thought i was the only one who struggled with 'dead zones'. i call them my 'Home Sick' feeling. its just like i dont belong; im not comfortable with my self, life etc etc. God seem non-existant, and even if he did come near i would kick him of the bed. after all i didnt ask to be born. sook, sook, sook. i too watch people, one of my delights when im not 'home sick', but when i am, i feel like, 'why do they bother'? they work, fight, struggle, for what, another bundle of printed dough- money. when i have tried to explain it to any one, i get the 'pull your self up' story. but i think im just longing to be with the Father. any way thanks Guys, may-be im not as messed up as i thought i was.